playing with boppy

Playing with boppy (mom's nursing support pillow). Send this pictures to relatives, including mom, and she said I put a trick on Caden so that he looks like he is able to raise his head up. haha..."nope grandma...mommy did not do her trick with me at all...I did it all by myself..."

lil' rockieee...

I took this just before he went to sleep at night!!

Mommy loves this suit (there is a jacket that comes with it) but you grows so fast that you only used it twice and it almost doesn't fit anymore.

Is Caden a colic baby???

Caden has been crying so much at around early evenings (start at about 7pm and could end as late as 1am) It started about a week ago and it drives me crazy. I tried to soothe him, give him my breast (which used to help), rock him, let him listen to a music, etc...but unfortunately, none helpped. So I went to the doctor and asked their opinion about it, they told me Caden may be a colic baby. I was very dissapointed, I heard about colic baby often but never ever think that Caden will fall under that category. I mean he is such an angel in the morning and afternoon, but at night time he seems like a totally different person. The doctor assured me that there is nothing to worry about and I did nothing wrong in my pregnancy days or now -- being a new mom. While the doctor keep telling me that my breast-milk is the best option for Caden and is actually enough for him, Ai Ayun and mom believe that Caden cries because he is not getting enough milk. I try to convince them that they are wrong as Caden was still gaining weight, unfortunately, they don't want to listen. So Caden has been given formula quite a lot. I have to pump my milk and see how much milk I get and then Ai will add that with formula to a correct measure. I told them that Caden does not need that much milk per fedding but again, they won't listen. So, alone without Paul and battling between 2 older women whom they think that they know better even from the doctors, I give up. I let them do whatever they want to Caden about this feeding schedules.

So back to the colic problem, I try to search the internet about it and found lots of articles regarding it. I read it and understand more about it butttttt...no real solution for it...*sigh.* Colic baby is just a term used to describe uncontrollable crying in an otherwise healthy baby (usually under 5 months old). Satistic said about about 20 percent of all babies become colicky, usually starting between 2 and 4 weeks of age. Sixty percent of babies will be through the worst of it by 3 months, and 90 percent are better by 4 months of age. *sigh* So Caden will cry a lot every night for the next 3-4 months? Doctors and articles on the internet says the same thing, that I just have to be patient and love him as much as I can. Other ways that I try and it somehow works sometimes:

• Give him a pacifier
• Rock him
• Warm his belly -- I use "minyak telon" bought from Indonesia
• Swaddle him

Doing the methods above sometimes helps him to calm down but if not, we would just keep rocking him and put him in motion until he is tired and drift to sleep. It was hard at first to see him cry so much but after time I know I have done my best. I am also thankful that although Paul is not here to help me, there is Ai Ayun who help me to cope with this. I just hope that this constant crying will end soon. Can't wait!!!

==> one of his bad mood night.....Ai Ayun carried him in a kanggoro style sling which I bought a few weeks earlier for him --- hopping he will feel like he is still inside my womb.

Father and son bondingg....

Paul came earlier than schedule. Although it was only for 5 days, I was so excited to see him and I am sure Caden, too. At first, Paul did not dare to hold Caden up but after some reassuring that Caden is not that fragile, today, Paul carry him up for a few minutes -- so I took this pictures. Paul was worried that he would smashed Caden that he hold him uncomfortably for both of them. But it's okay..there will always first experience for them.

Sleepin' with one hand

Ai Ayun told me that for some reason Caden likes his left hand to be out from his swaddling blanket. He seems to fight back if we force him to put both his hands in the swaddle. I don't believe her at first, I thought all babies likes to be wrapped tight in a swaddle but I guess Caden is different, maybe his hands were free to move (or at least his left hand) when he was inside my tummy. Since then we decide to let his "favorite" hand out, just to keep him comfortable and yes, he does seem at peace with one of his hands out.

@ the oasis

Oma is going back tommorow so this last day of her in Austin has to be special! We decided to go to The Oasis which is located 450 feet above Lake Travis that offers breathtaking views of the Texas Hill Country. It's well known for the spectacular sunsets which Paul had wanted to bring me there to see it since we moved to Austin, TX in February 2005, but something always come up....I thought this would be a great day for us to go out together and see this place which is very well known in Austin.

This is also the first day of Caden officially go out...and it was outdoor... It was a great place and definately great view but because it's outdoor, a few people did actually smoke...so we have to find a place to sit that far from those cancerous people...hehe...

The dessert is famous...and yes they are great...but I was not enjoying it so much as I know that I got to loose my weight soon! I am huge! Paul has been nagging about it too....

PS: Thank you, oma for taking care of mommy and I for the past 3 weeks!! Have a safe journey home...

Caden and Mommy....

cute and small caden + tired and sleepy mommy.... ^_^

but both are glad that we have each other to cuddle with...

Proud Grandma

Celebration just for Caden

The Austin Cell people has been wanting to see Caden but I told them not to visit me at the hospital (because I will surely look very ugly with those half-naked hospital gown). So mom and I agreed to have a gathering at the apartment on Sunday, the 1st of October. Ai Ayun cooked and Mom was the MC for that day, she lead us in prayer and songs. She touch my heart by saying, "how proud she was with me that I could do all that alone without a husband beside me." And the "most important person" on that day was surely got all the attention of all the visitors. Although we were talking so loud, Caden doesn't seem care at all -- I read once it's because it was very noisy actually living in my womb that loud sound will actually make him feel like he is still inside my womb. Overall, at 4 days, he was doing nothing much other than sleep and cry for some milk.

Ai Ayun and Grandma

The BIG day!!! September 28th 2006

At last my mom and the Chinese lady (that I called ai Ayun) had arrived safely in Austin, Texas International Airport on Saturday 16th of September 2006. And now, the count down begins...everyone was hoping that the baby, whom we decided to call Caden, to arrive anytime soon but it has been more than a week and there were no sign of it at all.

All of us were waiting...couldn't wait for the day to come. Especially for me since I was so huge and big and gigantic.....I was just hoping that I could be in labor soon enough before I became an "elephant" ^_^. I was so sure that everyday that passed, I gained a couple of pounds. SCARY!!!

Then came September 27th when I experienced "spotting" (blood drops) in the morning and afternoon but no sign of contractions. Not sure what to do, I decided to go to the doctor that afternoon. Unfortunately the doctor said, I was only 1.5cm dilation (which had been going on for a week) and no contractions at all so the doctor told me to go home and wait until I feel contractions that are 5 minutes a part for at least 1 hour. Dissapointed, my mom and I went home.

I took a nap for 2.5 hours and woke up at 7.30pm feeling a something is different in my tummy but decided to ignore it as I was just went from the doctor office and she said nothing to show any early labor sign. I ate my dinner and joked with my mom that today would be the day as I felt something more stronger but still not sure if that was contractions. By 8.30pm, I becaming more anxious and the my tummy hurts a little bit more, I decided to call the doctor at 9pm. Then by 10pm, I could barely speak through the contractions. I knew then I was really in labor. Quickly I took a bath and call my friend, Vivi, who was going to take me to the hospital.

• 11.30pm I arrived at the hospital, checked by the nurse said I was only at 1.5cm dilation...my mom and I were shocked...I was in so much pain...I thought I was at least at 5cm dilation. The nurse then told me to walk around and be back in 1 hour.
• 12.30am, the nurse said I was already at 5cm dilation *huh???*. I was then transfered to the labor and delivery room and being prepared for the labor.
• 2.30am, I was said to be at 9.5cm dilation and ready to push. *SHOCKED!!!*
• 3.05am I was pushing and after only pushing through 6 contractions, the baby came at 3.43am --- 39 minutes!!! *Gosh..I wasn't thought it would be this fast!!*

I thank God for the safe and fast labor that I experienced and more importantly a healthy son to be taken care for.

hopelessness

I cried so loud in the hospital this morning. ALONE! I was in the state of hopelessness. Mom and Ai keep pressuring me to give Caden formula because they believe Caden’s crying is associated with not enough milk.

I asked the nurses and the breastfeeding consultants and they all say differently. Caden would adjust to my milk supply and the decrease in weight in a couple of days after birth is in within the limit.

[Mom said, the doctor can say anything that she wants but if this is hers, she would give the baby formula…yeah right! *sarcastic tone*]

But the pressure has been so hard on me. With no one to talk to and the closest persons (Ai and Mom) are not agreeing with the doctors and not believing in what I believe, I decided to supplement Caden with formula.

I felt so guilty. I felt that I give Caden the 2nd best, not the very best of all.

But I promise myself to do whatever it takes to increase my milk production. The nurses said, I could pump my milk as often as possible (even when the breasts are empty) because that would tell the breast to produce more.

I do hope my milk will be enough for him soon. Some friends said that they mix formula and breastfeeding for the first few months then when their milk is enough, they would stop the formula. So there here is my new plan! So different from my initial one and very disappointment that it did not go through but I think I just need to be patient and keep prying for more milk production soon.

I can’t wait for the day when it’s only my milk that Caden drink! ^_^

what a coincidence!!

Oma has been very proud that Caden's birthday fall on the same day as her wedding anniversary. For a week before his was born, (almost everyday) oma talked to Caden and told him to wait until the 28th of September to arrive in this world because then they could celebrate it on the same time. haha...

She has been telling EVERY ONE how she was actually told to Caden about it (when he was still in my womb ) and he finally agreed to it. ^_^

It is indeed a surprise for us! Well, Caden may actually really listen to what oma said about having the same special day together.

my first few minutes with mommy....

First thought: "he was so tiny and light.... I gained almost 20kg, where are all the weight goes?" Then I saw this picture and thought: "hahaa...all goes to my body! look at my face...it all huge and swollen!!"
Daddy calledd....he was in the meeting in Taiwan throughout the process....was worried sick...hehehe...poor daddy!!!
First time breastfeeding him!

I have been waiting for this time throughout the pregnacy!

The feeling could not be describe...proud...worried a lot (that my milk is not enough, that the did not latched right and could not suck right, etc...) tired...excited with this new life of mine....hate it because Paul was not there...glad that my mom was there....

The thought was: "If GOD permit (that is if my milk will keep producing), I am definately going to do this for a year!!! GOD help me to always give the very best for my son!"

Grandma's first moment...

Grandma definately proud of Caden!

She tought: "At last I have a male in my family in this cute and tiny creature"
Caden: "Hei grandma....please don't carry me too long!! I am hungry...give me to my mom!!!

First Bath @ 4am

Caden's first bath was on his birth day!! @ 4am!! Yup! In US, all babies has to take a bath no matter how late it is. Caden was hungry and tired so he was crying the whole time. He wanted his milk but this nurse (forget her name!!) bathed him rather than gave him to mommy to be fed! First time hearing Caden cry was magical but at the same time, I want to hugged him and told him that everything was going to be okay...so please don't cry!! The 30 minutes of him being cleaned felt like eternity! I want to hold him pretty bad!

Caden was not given to me right away because right before I was pushing, Caden pupu inside my tummy! hehe... They know this because when the nurse broke my water (using a tool especially for it), the water that was supposed to be clear has greenish color on it. She said, she had to clean him first as it is very dangerous if he actually swollen his own stool....yikesss!!! So right after I delivered, Caden was brought to his examination table and of course grandma went there right awayyyy.....and I could only see from a far...he looked weird...red...bloody...and small....

After he was cleaned and all dressed up (I think the clothes are meant for bigger babiess...it was way too big for him), he was then ready to be fed! And this where I got my first chance to hold my precious one!! yeyyy....

CADEN PHILBERT RAFIULY

@ North Austin Medical Center
Born at 3.43am on Thursday September 28th 2006
Weight: 2.9kg or 6 pounds 3 oz
Length: 46cm or 18 inches
Eyes: Black
Hair: Brown (very thin!! -- Almost hairless ^_^)
Jaudince: Yes (mild one)
Complications: None
Doctor that deliver: Dr. Rosettos
Pediatrician: Ellis Leighton, MD, FAAP @ North Austin Pediatrics
(Referred by: Tienna)

Pregnant and Alone in Austin, Texas

September 3rd 2006, here am I congratulating myself to officially survived 25 days living alone and pregnant in Austin, Texas. Amaze at myself that I handled it pretty well. While I believe by learning things to prepare for my little precious one to come into my life could make me be a better mom, it also gave me activities that makes my days went 'snappy.'

Classes that I took so far:

• Adult, Child, Infant CPR & First Aid in American Red Cross, Austin, Texas (8 hrs) So technically I am a certified CPR and First Aid person.
• Lamaze classes (12.5 hours) This class supposedly guide you to not take any pain medication (if you are up to it) and make labor experience as natural as it can be, but unfortunately, the videos that they showed us makes me more scared about the pain in the labor – though the instructor told a bunch of stuff how to ease the pain.
• Breast-feeding class (2.5 hours) Learned a lot in this class!!! Hope I can do it on my baby soon (not only with the baby doll that they loan us for the duration of the class)
• Labor classes (10.5 hours) Done by my doctor’s office and I like the instructor a lot. She help me answers a lot of my questions.
  Free classes at Baby’s R Us – “Car seat Safety,” “How to be patient as a parent,” “Music and your child,” “Sign Language for your Toddler.”

I thank GOD for the extremely good health and healthy pregnancy so far. By next week, I will be officially 37 weeks pregnant and could have been said to be in a full term pregnancy, which mean….that I could give birth next week and the baby will not be considered to be premature. BUTT…. I do hope that won’t be happening too soon because my mom and a Chinese lady that is going help me after the labor will only be here on the 16th of September.

Among everything else, I am very happy to know that Paul’s company is having a holiday from the 5th – 11th of October and he will be visiting me at that time (of course keeping the “old” plan to come here on the 11th of November too…)…. !!! Yeyyy….. I was so happy; especially when by that time I will be seeing Paul for the 1st time in 2 months – can you imagine?? T W O monthssss!!!! I thought this was impossible to do…but well, I think we will go through it just fine.

I Love you and can’t wait to see you here soon, Paul!!!! :)

5 things to consider to be pregnant again....!!

• ONE: My complexion and hair is better than ever...
  - No pimples at all since the start of pregnancy, seriously NONE, NILL, NADA....
  (Note: I always had pimples since I entered my teenage life....)
  - I always had problem with my hair -- they are really thin but they fall off a lot everyday, but now, NONE...at the most only one hair in a few days...


• TWO: NO vommiting and NO serious mood swings...


• THREE: I could eat anything that I want -- all the fatty stuff; Ice cream, ribs, carbs, etc --- without feeling guilty at all...


• FOUR: People (friends, family and even stranger) treat me better since the beginning of my pregnancy -- I am becoming a spoilt brat...
  - Strangers sometimes offer me seats anywhere, even in a crowded burger place...but I guess that's only happen in US, I don't think people care that much about pregnant women in Asia as in here. ^_^


• FIVE: Feeling pretty (although I am "biggerrr" noww..) and more confident...
  

After going through an easy pregnancy (Thank you, Lord!!!), I just hope that my labor, which is in about a month away, will be as easy as my pregnancy is. I hope I will be able to handle it courageously and calmly with or without my husband next to me. I am still worried that I could not be a good parent to him but I think by leaving it to God and trust fully it HIM, I can do everything!!! ^_^

"I can do everything through Christ who strengtheneth me..." Philipians 4:13.

==>@ Boudin, Fisherman Whaft - San Francisco - August 1st 2006 @ 30 weeks prengnant and had gained 10 kg/22 pounds.